Confessions of a Game-Mistress

One of my friends, who shall remain nameless, was chatting with me about the upcoming convention. She was eager to get to the convention because she expected it to be a building full of easy targets.

While that’s an extreme attitude, conventions well deserve their reputation as a hookup place. The potent combination of people who share your interests, being a distance from home, and the alcohol most consume makes the situation ripe for intimate contacts. If you’re lucky a game will even hook you up — another friend wound up winning an award for her LARPing skill, and an evening with the player designated as her in-game partner in a White Wolf LARP at GenCon a few years ago.

Being that GenCon starts in two days, some discussion of con-sex is in order.

Looking to get picked up? Male or female, gay or straight, it can happen. The social skills of a lizard will not prevent you from getting lucky if you do what you can to make yourself appealing.

First, and any lecture on cons should say this, but for the love of the gods, BATHE! You’d really be amazed how many people seem to think that a shower is an optional thing, and skip it for DAYS. Trust me. You stink. You need the shower. Between standing in long lines, unaccustomed physical exertion, excitement, perhaps costumes, you will develop con-funk. No one finds con-funk appealing, not if they require breathing. (If they don’t, you have bigger problems.)

Second, pay attention to the way you look. Dress in CLEAN clothes (a corollary to above but it needed to be said), avoid costumes with heavy makeup, and make sure your appearance is neat. Don’t weigh yourself down with twelve tons of stuff if you want someone to invite you back to their room. Make sure your hair is combed and cut. For the ladies, a touch of makeup to show that you’re paying attention to appearance.

Third, if you’re taking someone back to your hotel room, make sure you haven’t trashed it.

Fourth, people with your interests are easier to talk to. Sure, the booth babe is hot, but she’s just hired to be there, and odds are you’re the eightieth person to tell her she’s hot. It’s her job to be hot. The fellow gamer at your table, on the other hand, may have escaped roving attentions.

Fifth, try to be a nice person, be friendly. Here’s where social skills come into play. Think about what you would like if someone else did it. Bring candy for sharing to the gaming table. Or something more substantial — I saw a guy quite handily get the attentions of a female RPGA GM last year by bringing pizza and sodas to her mid-slot table when she was tired and hungry with no time to get out for four more hours. Offer to help in any way you can - be prepared with extra dice and pencils, etc. Sounds lame but oddly people are attracted to people who are kind and thoughtful. Open doors for people. In my experience there is a much higher percentage of old-fashioned gentlemen with manners in tabletop RPGs and in classic wargaming than in videogames and CCGs. If you’re in those areas, be on your best manners and you can shine.

Sixth, be prepared and think ahead. If you’re planning to hook up, bring condoms. If you have a roommate, arrange a signal. Pay the extra for the hotel that connects to the con. Be prepared to walk away from your morning event the next day. If you do hook up, tell someone you trust and give them the name and if available badge number of your hookup. Just in case - the world’s full of psychos, and if you don’t show for tomorrow’s slots and you’re expected someone would have a clue where to start looking. Make sure your cellphone’s on for the same reason.
Those bits of advice are a good foundation for a safe, fun con experience. I don’t claim to be a pickup expert, so I’m not going more elaborate in details. If you feel like sharing tips with your fellow gamer geeks, please comment below!